i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He kissed a someone with a penis
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
