He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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