I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
