I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
