You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
