I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
