is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
