Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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