why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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