It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Life is so much better after having sex.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
