Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
jump out the window naked night went bad
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
