He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
