Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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