No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
