So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
