I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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