you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We have started to decorate penises.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
