Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
