Its about making memories worth repressing
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
