What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
