apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
