wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Randomize
