found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I deserve this hangover.
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