Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
