I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
