Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
