I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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