dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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