your parents love me but you hate me
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
