So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
