Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
