I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
