Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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