I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
