i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Someone came in the potted fern
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
