Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
