i just google imaged poop.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
