YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
