Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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