i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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