We're like a lot better than the average bears
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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