I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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