you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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