you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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