took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
