why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
