That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Couch. On fire.
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