yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
