Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
