windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
