considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I have already put on my inside pants.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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