Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
