is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
