he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
