It's Friday. Sex?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
