come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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